Letter Eleven from the Lovely Lady Lena
An Ode To Strange Eating Appointments,
Dear future missionaries,
As you fill out your papers please pay special attention to the section where it asks you about food preferences. If you say you do not have any allergies, be careful, they might send you to East Germany. This week I had not one but TWO eating appointments. That’s a miracle in itself. Now before you get too excited, let me describe the fabulous experiences because it is not dinner without a show!
Eating Appointment One: Br.C. 20 something. Smart asian student like most everyone here in Dresden. Lives in tiny student apartment just like most everyone here.
Br.C invited all 8 missionaries over for dinner into his tiny student apartment. When we arrived he didn’t have the food ready yet so we began to look around. It was then that I spotted it. Sitting in the corner of the room was a helmet with two large fans and a lot of wires. Elder Ashmead put it on and then Br.C, in his thick chinese slash english slash german told us to plug it in. We plugged Elder Ashmead in and just as soon as the fans started spinning, they broke off and flew across the room almost decapitating sister Degraw. So we shut that down and patiently waited for the food to finish. I asked Br.C if he enjoyed Kareoke (seeing as there was a machine also in the corner) and he piped up ‘yes Helzer! I do Lion King.’ Oh is that so? I had to be certain he wasn’t lying so I asked him to sing a song from Lion King for me. Br.C only knew it in Chinese so that’s exactly how he sang it! The dinner was finished but cheng only has 4 chairs. And there were 9 people. You do the math. So we ate one companionship to a chair and Br.C just hovered over, singing Chinese songs. Just when I thought eating appointments couldn’t get any better, sunday rolled around.
Eat Appointment Two: Herr S. 60 something. Also lives in a tiny apartment but it is mostly tiny because he fills it with weird art and a grand piano. And birds.
This eating appointment should go down in history. It was a very ‘culteral’ evening. We started the night by taking a tour of his house. Which is 3 rooms. And a bathroom! We can not forget the bathroom! In the ‘country’ room he had a board filled with pins. I commented that I collected pins and he proceeded to take down the board and take off a pin. He explained its communist background and then gave it to me. I am now a proud owner of a communist pin! Woot woot! The tour ended in the ‘dining room’ where I was directed to take a seat on the peasent looking seat. My companion, however, was asked to take a seat in the fancy seat so she could prepare for her piano concert. Apparently, Herr S only invited us over so that I could be the kitchen maid and my companion could be the piano slave for his culteral evening with the Elders. In fact, Herr S can’t even play the piano, he has one because AND I QUOTe ‘where a piano is, culture is.’ And now to the menu. We start off the night with some top ramen random fish part soup. It wasn’t too bad, just tasted like poverity, but I didn’t mind. Along with the soup, we drank this juice that tasted like Christmas. Herr S had me clear the dishes for the next course. I like to call it ‘dead fish. dead fish. oh my gosh I am eating dead fish with eyeballs and more bones than a graveyard.’ It was piled on top of rice with giant balls or coriantur spice. I begged Elder Stoddard to take some of my food because I had no room and I knew Herr S had more in store to fatten us up. I asked for more christmas drink and when Herr S went to get it, Elder Stoddard and I made the food exchange. Which was a smart move because after we managed to eat that food, Herr S brought out tea, cake, and ice cream. He then got out a board game for us to play. As in, he made us play and he wanted to watch us like they do in the American Movies. ???? I guess I should note that Herr S did not eat any food the whole night, he only took shots. At least 12 or so! I got third place in the board game which means I one a plastic toy car figurine! Elder Hays lost the game, which meant he won an ivory cross! Don’t worry, he gave us ALL religious books filled with strange chants. He then had us sign his guest book and requested that the Elders come back with their wives.
So many people have been asking me what I eat in Germany, that is just a taste of the wonderful menu! Haha no really, the food here is typically fantastic! And the people are even better. Never a dull moment here in East Germany!
Until the next adventure,
posted by Splendidly Sar.