Letter Thirty-Seven from the Lovely Lady Lena

Correction from last post: I meant Area 51 not Area 49! I have no idea what Area 49 is, maybe the hipster lot of Aliens??

     I feel like today is the weirdest day for emails. My brother (serving in the Washington Kennewick Spanish Speaking Mission) sent me a bunch of photos of dead animals(?!?!?)and my best bud Jake (serving in the Sapporo Japan Mission) just sent me the weirdest story as of late. What’s that thing you kids say these days? ROFL? Yup. That’s what I am doing right now. I am ROFLing. So let me share the fun!

     “This Monday right after emails we had planned to go out to eat with a recent convert. He has depression so we were really happy to be able to meet with him. He invited us and two other sisters to go out to eat with him at the sapporo train station. First he comes in and looks way happy and excited to go, then he ordered the taxi’s and it started to get weird… He started to get a little off and agitated. We got in the taxi’s and the recent convert ordered us into our specific seats. I had the front next to the driver. I was so scared to try and talk to the driver, but I got over that and we talked about how cars use chains on their tires to drive in the snow. It was super lame and I got way to excited about a boring conversation topic. So I quickly changed it to the gospel and he told us he was catholic. Then the recent convert kinda got weird and wouldn’t let us talk to the driver anymore. We got to the train station and the RC (recent convert) says, ‘First smoothies, then eel.’ What??? Okay… so we went to the basement of the eki (train station) it is huge by the way. He made us walk around with him for about 45 minutes and eat anything he gave us. This was not even dinner. (keep in mind he doesn’t work either, so we have no idea where this money is coming from.) At about 7:00 we made it up to the 8th floor of the eki to eat eel. He stopped at a soba( noodle) store and said, ‘This is very yummy, you should eat it sometime.’ Then he ordered us into the most expensive eel restaurant in the eki. We sat down right where he made us and already ordered for us as well. We ate over 500$ of food. I was sooo full. Eel is way good by the way. So we tried to share a spiritual message, but he was just ignoring us and not talking to us about the whole hour we were eating. It was 8:20 and we said we had to be back before 9:00. Well he then in english said, ” I know elders always eat. GO TO THE SOBA PLACE!” oh no… we then had to eat as fast as we could. It was sooo scary. He was forcing us to eat and we had to because he has no money and spent sooo much money on us. Well we eventually made it out of there at 9:07 right after he tried to hug one of the sisters. We made it home at 9:28. I was freaking out the whole time. I didn’t do a good job explaining it, but basically imagine eating dinner with voldemort. I was crying.” 
     Is that crazy stuff or what?! Why is it that people always think missionaries eat? Can I try to break down that stereotype for just a moment. We are not super humans. We are not spiritual beasts needing to digest every living organism that falls under the Word of Wisdom. We do not magically burn 3,000 calories a day nor do we have enough room to eat that much. Please, when you feed the missionaries, take that into account. ice cream, on the other hand, we can eat all day long so don’t go light on the ice cream! 
     Are you ready for some crazy German stories now?? This week Sister Hansen and I gave a 40 minute presentation in German for a Zone Conference. In honor of the Superbowl, we centered ours on Football. We talked about how the Holy Ghost is our QB and we can’t score touchdowns (or convert people) without him. We also talked about how prayer helps us #timtebow. It was a pretty rad presentation, if I do say so myself.
     The other presentations were also great! One was about Finding Joy In Finding. The next day, Sister Hansen and I put it to the test. We went to this area with a billion communistic high rises. One man told us to get lost, but I had never heard that word in German before. So I kept talking blah blah blah. He said it again, this time with more urgency. Sister Hansen pulled out my dictionary and after a quick search of the word we decided to move onto the next building. As we left we heard a knock on a window and the man was there flipping us off. The American Way. Hahah. Sometimes when I get rejected for trying to share the sweetest message the world has ever had, I just imagine how nice it will be to date when I come home. Rejection will seem like nothing. ‘He didn’t text back. I guess he doesn’t want to go on a date.’ ‘Oh cheer up Charlie! When I was on my mission……’ Just saying, it’s not so bad. Plus right after that, we found 4 new investigators! That man was just letting us know that our new investigators weren’t at that building. He was actually doing us a huge favor!
     This week was also amazing because the O L Y M P I C S started. Oh what a joy!!! Even though I can’t watch them, I still feel the spirit of the Olympics inside my heart. Now I have the Holy Ghost and the Olympic Spirit helping me teach the people of Schwarzenberg. That’s just a power team right there! side note: does anyone know about Tora Bright? I seriously had such a wonderful week, I just feel like I’m on cloud 9. ‘I’m in love (with my mission), I’m in love, and I don’t care who knows it!’-Elf.
     Tune in next week to hear about Transfer Calls,
     Love Sister Helzer
After all this talk about food, I thought I would let you enjoy some tasty burger pictures.
After all this talk about food, I thought I would let you enjoy some tasty burger pictures.
We found an American Diner in the middle of nowhere. Area 49?! haha.
We found an American Diner in the middle of nowhere. Area 49?! haha.
We got to eat at Vapianos once again! So tasty cakes.
We got to eat at Vapianos once again! So tasty cakes.
We also found a GIANT tub of Mayo at Fr. G's casa.
We also found a GIANT tub of Mayo at Fr. G’s casa.
Studying on the train for our Presentation
Studying on the train for our Presentation
The Chemnitz Zone! You will notice a kid in the middle with a piece of fruit. It's called a Pomelo. They are simply amazing and we also compared it to the Holy Ghost. Just goes to show that everything can relate back to the gospel.
The Chemnitz Zone! You will notice a kid in the middle with a piece of fruit. It’s called a Pomelo. They are simply amazing and we also compared it to the Holy Ghost. Just goes to show that everything can relate back to the gospel.
This is why you shouldn't overfeed missionaries! Look, now I can't even properly work a playground.
This is why you shouldn’t overfeed missionaries! Look, now I can’t even properly work a playground.
ANNA AND ALENA! okay, it actually said ANNA and ANNA, but let's just pretend.
ANNA AND ALENA! okay, it actually said ANNA and ANNA, but let’s just pretend.
Bet you didn't know I was a bowling pro!
Bet you didn’t know I was a bowling pro!
My house. Possibly my last week here. We have transfer calls on Saturday so we will see what the Lord has in store for me.
My house. Possibly my last week here. We have transfer calls on Saturday so we will see what the Lord has in store for me.

alenahelzer

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